


Twin Size Mattress

by Blueyedgurl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, Self-Destruction, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24355792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueyedgurl/pseuds/Blueyedgurl
Summary: Rey leaves her apartment in the middle of the night to seek the one support she has in this town.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 38
Kudos: 104





	1. Shake it out

**Author's Note:**

> Title based off of a Front Bottoms song, not an implication of bed sharing but I wouldn't rule that out.

Rey sighed in relief as she finally turned the corner and spotted the 3 story red brick building, wincing as she adjusted the strap of her duffle bag. She knew it was overfull of the bulk swinging awkwardly against her thigh and the weight digging painfully into her shoulder. She carried everything she was able to fit into confines of her bag, a go bag- the internet had referred to it when she looked it up a week ago. 

It had been raining steadily for about 20 minutes now, glad she was wearing leggings and not jeans, even though they felt plastered to her skin. There was no going back once it started and no relief from it to be had. Safety and belonging were ahead, not behind her. The cold rain pelted the skin on her face and soaked through her hoodie. Her bangs plastered to her skin and the rain and tears were indistinguishable except for the temperature. She was grateful that her bag was somewhat weather-proof and that the more sensitive of her belongings had some sort of protective sleeve to help keep the water out. In her haste her things were sandwiched in between layers of clothes, hopefully adding another layer of protection. 

She lifted her hand to her neck to rub away the stiffness that was brought on by constantly looking behind her and tension that had her body strung tight. She could feel the rain beading down her forehead the fall chill starting to affect her despite the brisk pace she was trying to keep. She hoped that the person she was seeking was home and that he didn’t have company. Although, a night spent in his hallway would be better than going back to where she came from. 

Finally reaching her destination Rey climbed the three stories of the old main street type building steeling her nerves for what was to come. Things had been tense between them for the last month. They had barely spoken at work and they hadn’t hung out since their disagreement two months ago, longer if she was being honest with herself. She shook her head to clear the thought. Water dripping from her hair onto the commercial grade carpet of the hallway.

She was tired and sore, her adrenaline wearing off the longer she had walked had now reappeared as she anxiously looked at the door in front of her. She could feel herself beginning to shake, whether it was her nerves, the autumn chill or a combination of both she couldn’t be sure. She was certain that she probably looked like a drown rat, certain that the only dry part of her may be the place on her hip that had been somewhat protected by the duffle bag.

She took a breath and held it before knocking loudly on his door. It appeared dark under the door and she hadn’t seen a light on from the street level so knew he was either in bed or not home. The cold and damp becoming more noticeable now that she wasn’t moving. R

She raised her hand and knocked loudly again, thankful his was the only apartment on this floor. She was thankful that she wasn’t followed here, if she was being honest she was half expecting him to be here already. She hoped that it could stay this simple, part ways and never have to deal with him again, but she knew he’d be back to his old tricks in the morning. She listened for sounds on the other side not hearing anything she raised her fist and knocked again.

\--

Ben started awake, unsure of what had disturbed him. He’d been having trouble sleeping for weeks and was about to drift back off thinking it was just another restless night when a knock sounded from the hallway. Checking his watch he heaved himself out of bed grumbling about the college kids down stairs who seemed to have visitors at all hours of the night and who couldn’t seem to count flights of stairs or read apartment numbers. He didn’t even bother putting on a shirt assuming this would be a quick dismissal. 

The knock came again as his hand reached for the handle and he swung the door open, glaring in the direction of the person on the other side preparing a gruff greeting for the unwelcome visitor only to be taken aback by the sight in front of him.

He felt worry and anger prickle at his skin as he was met with the sight of his co-worker, whose friendship was currently put on hold, all puffy eyed, red cheeked, and looking like she had been tossed in a pool. He could feel his face fall into a look of surprise and took in a gasp of air.

‘Rey?’


	2. Everything is alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flash back to 6 months ago

6 months ago

Rey and Ben sat at their usual table in the staff lounge, this had been part of their weekday routine for about a year or 3 months after Rey started working here. 

"So, I started seeing someone." Rey stated as she bit into her usual sandwich. 

"Oh?" Ben muttered aiming for d['etached interest.

"Yeah, we met at Finn’s going away party a couple of weeks ago?” She asked, he remembered, he had been reconnecting with his parents, an event brought on by Rey’s insistence and instigation. “Apparently, they worked together. He’s been super nice and supportive since Finn and Rose moved.’ Ben knew she had been lonely without her closest friends, and felt inadequate in filling the void.

Ben nodded in understanding while staring at his salad like it was suddenly interesting, it wasn’t. Ben kicked himself for his stupid rules, always so rigid to help make his world make sense had seemingly backfired. Ben was a firm believer in the Platinum rule, although, Rey had made him question how good of a rule that was starting about 13 months ago. Somehow, Rey had a tendency to get him to break all of his steadfast rules, such as don’t make friends with people you work with and you can never go home again. She had a sunny disposition and a 1000 watt smile that made him feel a little more human and little less like the Grinch. So in light of this he shoved down any physical or emotional attraction he might feel for her and she wormed her way into his life despite some of his better attempts at keeping his distance. Not that he was complaining, he found he liked her company, they had a lot in common and she called him out on his bullshit.

Despite the platinum rule he still felt regret at Rey having someone new in her life. For the past year she hadn’t dated anyone as far as he knew. She had her friends Finn and Rose, and now him. They hung out every week. The occasional bar trivia when the themes interested them, and movie nights on the weekends. He now regretted spending that weekend of Finn and Rose’s party reconnecting with his family, not that he was close with Finn or Rose, they were Rey’s friends not his. He regretted that someone else had taken his place in a way. He tensed his jaw, pushing that thought away, feeling replaceable was an old thought not a new one. Rey didn’t owe him anything. Just because he wouldn’t let himself explore a relationship with her didn’t mean he would keep her from being happy with someone else. 

"So, have you been on a lot of dates?" Ben asked, the salad suddenly tasteless and dry in his mouth.

"A few. He’s come over to watch movies and a few dinners out."

Ben felt himself pull his mouth into a smile, he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. Not that Rey was looking at him, she was suddenly very interested in a divot in the table top. 

‘Well, I’m happy for you. I hope it works out.’ Ben said thickly hoping to end the current topic of conversation. He knew that asking any further details would only serve to make him uncomfortable and open the door to her talking about her relationship more openly, something he wasn’t ready for. He was happy for her, he just could not fully deal with this right now. 

Rey grinned, not one of her beaming smiles that made her dimples appear at full force but one that said that the matter was settled.

"Well, I better get back to work I have that deadline and I don’t want to have to be here all night finishing it up." Rey stated packing up her lunch containers and tossing her garbage.

‘"Right. If you need any help with anything let me know. My calendar after 3 isn’t too bad."

‘"Thanks Ben."

After that things stayed the same for a little while. There was the occasional trivia night that got missed and weekend movie nights turned into weekend lunches. Ben didn't ask questions but knew she was spending a lot of time with the guy she was seeing. Until about four weeks after Rey had initially mentioned him. 

"Hey Ben?"

"Hmm?" He glanced up from his work and stopped his typing.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Absolutely nothing. Why?"

"I was wondering if you would want to come over for dinner? I thought you’d want to finally meet P-"

"Oh. Sure, yeah I can do that." Quickly cutting her off with his answer looked back to his monitor.

Ben wasn’t too open to the idea of talking about Rey’s new love interest but wasn’t about to say no to her either. He really did want to see if this guy was good enough for her. He could let go of how he felt if it meant that she was happy and cared for. Her life had been hard enough growing up, she didn’t need any more bullshit.

Rey sighed "Great! Come by at 6 and bring beer. We’re having tacos."

"No problem," He nodded refocusing back on his work. 


	3. Not Now[*]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to present

Present

Rey shifted uncomfortably in front of him and swung her gaze to the floor.

‘Can I come in?’ she practically whispered it.

He was startled out of his surprised stupor. ‘Oh, yes, of course.’ He stepped back out of her way and raised his arm to gently remove the bag from her shoulder, she flinched away from him so he relinquished his intended task and settled on closing the door and allowing her to move into the apartment. It was then that his brain finally caught up and realized she must be freezing since she was obviously soaked and so he walked to the bathroom to get her a stack of towels. 

He returned to the living room in time to see her as she winced as she shifted the bag from her shoulder and dropped it onto the tile floor in the kitchen. A noticeable shake to her body and lip, which looked swollen now he took another look. He furrowed his brow but didn’t say anything as he handed her the towels and she settled onto the over sized chair. He knew Rey well enough to know that she would talk when she was ready, and more willingly than if he started questioning her. He moved into the kitchen filling the tea kettle and putting it on the stove to boil and walked back into the living room. He sat on the coffee table in front of her, resting his elbows on his knees, testing her willingness to let him close. He knew something had gone wrong, he felt his anxiety spiking and his anger swirling at his back, willing himself to not overreact to her presence and what it could possibly mean.

He hadn’t spoken to Rey outside of work in months. The circumstances of her reappearance at his apartment did not bode well and stoked the fears that led to their estrangement.

He watched her eyes become watery and her chin dimpled and pulled upward. That’s when the dam broke. Tears flowing down her freshly dried cheeks, deep sobs that seemed to pain her and a crumpled expression. He took the towel from her lap and moved into the oversized chair to sit next to her, wrapping her up in the towel as he embraced her and tucking her head under his chin. It took everything in him to restrain himself from making threats against the one person who he was sure was responsible for this. To keep himself calm he focused on his breathing and the cold where his skin made contact with her, his chin, his arm, his shoulder, his leg. His side and hip was protected by the towel and his sleep pants.

His hand passed over her back in what he hoped was soothing gesture until she winced and pushed herself away from him, taking in a gasp of air.

‘I’m sorry.’ He immediately apologized and stood to give her, her space. Unsure of what to do for her.

‘No, please.’ She sounded so small, he felt his fist ball up in frustration but didn’t dare express it.

‘What happened?’ he asked breathing in and out as slowly as he could muster to keep his anger at bay. His muscles were tense, coiled, ready to spring into action.

She broke into tears, her words broken up by sobs.

‘We got into a fight… again.” She looked at him then, as if wary to continue. “He came home late… he’d blown off our plans and had gone out drinking and I just… I couldn’t… not again… so I said something. Told him that I didn’t appreciate it, that I had seen he’d been messaging other women. I told him that I was done... done with him…. Done with him manipulating me… taking me for granted. Told him that I finally had enough… and that I caught on to how he’d pulled me away from my friends… used me as a pawn in his sick vendetta against you. This last month he’s been more distant, angry, blames me for everything. He even accused me of cheating on him with you, even though he knew we hadn’t spoken in weeks. So I told him I was moving out, that I’d be out by the end of the week. That’s when he went to grab me so I pushed him away.” Fresh tears appeared as her anger faded into shame.

“He slapped me, hard enough to cut my lip. Next thing I know I fell into the table and banged up my ribs. He seemed sorry then, or like he realized what happened, that he went too far. So, I took my chance to pack a bag and leave and come here, but by then he had taken my phone and smashed it and taken my keys and wouldn’t give them back, said I needed to stay and deal with it like an adult... not run away like a child. So." She took a deep breath letting it all come out in a rush, looking at him wearily, as if she was afraid he’d kick her out. 

Ben felt his jaw clench and teeth grate against each other while he felt himself starting to shake with rage. He kept quiet focusing on his breaths in an attempt to regain control of his temper. He knew if he gave her enough space she’d continue and he wouldn’t have to say he would probably regret.

She sniffled and wiped at her face and stood up, pacing in the open space in front of the couch, so he turned to watch her.

The tea kettle whistled, buying him some time to regain control of himself. He gathered the tea things and put them on a tray to carry into living room. A familiar albeit rusty habit.

Ben set down the tray noticing that Rey had peeled off her hoodie and replaced it with the blanket from the back of the couch, the hoodie a wet lump on the floor.

Rey seemed to have been comforted by the gesture of tea, seeming to take it as a welcome and relaxed a bit more.

“As I was leaving, he was shouting.” Her breath hitched. “Told me how he always knew I’d come running back to you. Said that I could go down to the pond and drown like the sand rat I was.”

And that is when Ben’s final bit of control snapped.

“I’m gonna kill him. Rey I swear to god I can’t believe he fucking touched you like that. Did he hit you before? Because I swear Rey if I’d known, I…” She raised her arm up to stop him and he halted his tirade.

“Ben please don’t. I’m not going back.” She sounded sad, defeated even. “But I need a place to stay until I can figure this out.”

Ben was always more action oriented, though the unanswered questions stung. Words were tricky and often false, he had to take a moment to restock what was within his own control, how he could help her.

‘Stay here, as long as you need. Whatever you need, Rey.’ He stated with a calmness that he didn’t feel. He was afraid she would see it as disingenuous some how.

She nodded, her arms folded in front of her, her head bowed downward. He stepped around the coffee table and back into her space and pulled her into a hug tucking her into him, careful to not press too firmly, afraid to hurt her further.

“Do you want to call the police? Or do you need me to take you to the hospital?” He quietly asked followed by a thick swallow.

“No, You know I can’t handle the police, Ben. They’re not an option.”

“But Rey-“

“No, Ben. I mean it no police.” He nodded, his chin nudging the top of her head.

“Fine.” It was not fine. “But if he so much as looks at you wrong I’m fucking calling the cops and you’re getting a restraining order. And tomorrow if that injury feels worse I’m taking you to the walk in.”

“Fine.” It was then that he felt her take a deep shuddering breath and felt her body start shaking violently against him.

“C’mon let’s get you settled so you can try to get some sleep. I can get you some clothes, yours are probably wet.”

She sniffed and nodded but it was several moments before she released him her hands feeling icy against his bare back.

“Mind if I shower?” 

“Not at all, I’ll go get some things set out in the small bathroom for you.”

\--

She had spent a bit longer in the shower than usual, allowing the hot water to warm her. She had been freezing by the time she got into the bathroom her body aching from the cold and tension. True to his word Ben had set up everything for her, little hotel shampoo and conditioner sat on the shelf in the shower, a couple of towels and a washcloth on the towel bar, the heat light on already warming up the small space, she could swear the thermostat had kicked on as well. A stack of his clothing sat on the small counter, she knew it’d be all too big for her, but it was warm, dry and she felt safe. He had always been so thoughtful towards her. 

She got dressed and toweled her hair off a bit more thoroughly. She walked back into the living room unsure of what to expect. She was met with the sight of Ben making up the couch for her, muscles in his shoulders flexing as he moved.

“Oh, Ben, you don’t have to make up the couch for me, I can take care of it.”

“It’s not for you.” He stopped his motions to look at her. “I’m making the couch up for me. You can take the bed. I changed the sheets this morning, so it’s clean.”

She heard the tone in his voice and opened her mouth to protest but was cut off.

“I’m not trying to be demanding and I’m trying really hard not to be an asshole because you've done nothing to deserve it.” Ben’s hands were on his hips his chin tucked to his chest, but his eyes stayed on her. “But if he comes here, I don’t want you to have to feel like you have to deal with him, let alone on your own. I would sleep better knowing that he has to get through me to get to you. I know that your ribs are hurt and so you should have a comfortable place to sleep. So please Rey, take the bed.”

He looked at her so earnestly but she couldn’t stop herself from arguing. Long held beliefs that she was a burden or obligation tugged at her. She knew that Ben wouldn’t hear it from her. Even though he had always had a counter argument for every one that she brought him. She still couldn’t help herself from continuing. Needing validation, whether it was positive of negative she wasn’t sure.

“Ben I’m not kicking you out of your own bed.” She could feel herself choking up again. “I’ve inconvenienced you enough for one night.” She sighed heavily and realized her mistake with the look of hurt and confusion that crossed his face before turning deadly serious, his nostrils flaring.

“Rey.” He stated with a startling calm that didn’t match with how his knuckles were white from digging into his hips.

“I’m going to make this very clear. This is not an inconvenience.” He crossed his arms against his chest then. “Avoiding the staff lounge for the past month was an inconvenience. Driving all over town last Christmas to then carry a Christmas tree up 4 flights of stairs because it wouldn’t fit in your elevator was an inconvenience. Doing whatever I need to do, to help make this easier on you and to keep you safe is not an inconvenience, nor it is a burden, nor is it an obligation. We could do this every week for the next year and it will never be an inconvenience. Not to me.”

Rey could feel her throat tighten and tears prick at the back of her eyes. He held her stare and she felt pinned there. She knew that for once words wouldn’t come, not without an abundance of tears and words of regret that she knew were not wanted by him. Her eyes slid to the floor and she retreated to her cold cup of tea sitting on the counter.

Ben finished putting together the couch to his liking and sat at the counter with her. 

“Rey if you don’t have keys and a phone how did you get here?”

“I walked…” she said as she looked away, shame inching its way back in.

She watched his fists clench in his lap he didn’t need to tell her why he was upset. She had walked three miles, in the dark and pouring rain, with an injury that wouldn’t let her defend herself, carrying a bag half her size with everything important she owned in it. He didn’t even like letting her walk to her car by herself after happy hour or after late nights at the office because he felt most people couldn’t be trusted.

The argument from a month ago rung in her ears and she could feel the nausea rise-up her throat and the tears return. 

“Hey.” He said gently breaking her train of thought.

She looked up at him then, seeing sadness and regret cross his face. 

“Go rest, we’ll talk in the morning. It’s nearly 4 and there’s a lot left to figure out.”

She felt worried, she could feel how the emotion pinched her eye brows together.

“We’re ok, Rey. Go to bed. Please.” She did as he asked, figuring he needed space to sort through his own thoughts. She put her cup in the sink and walked to his bedroom. She crawled into his king size bed, pulling the covers up and settling in to be as comfortable as possible with the ache in her ribs and on her cheek. She laid there, the night’s events exhausting her but still unable to sleep. It was another 30 minutes before the light from the living room finally ceased, a fitful sleep took her soon after.


	4. Breaking the girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 months ago

5 Months ago.

Rey stirred the meat on the stove top, everything else laid out for dinner was on the table. She was really hoping that tonight would go well. She knew that Poe worked for Ben’s mom’s company but was unclear as to if the two men knew one another. She had meant to ask Ben but knew that his relationship with his mom was still pretty raw. He also would change the subject rather quickly if she brought up her dating life, just enough to check in and that she was being treated well. But if Poe was going to be a regular feature she wanted them to be able to meet one another and have some sort of acquaintanceship. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door which she turned and opened, to find Ben’s imposing figure holding 2 six packs of craft beer.

“Hey, you made it first. Come on in!” She shut the door behind him returning to tip the meat into a serving bowl.

She turned back to Ben. “Poe just texted a few minutes ago, he should be here shortly.” She noticed Ben turn toward her and stiffen, his mouth open about to say something when there was a knock on her door.

“Wait, What? Rey, did you say-“

She opened the door to see Poe holding a baker’s box, the good cupcakes, as promised.

“Hey babe, they didn’t…” Poe had noticed Ben standing in the kitchen, stopping him mid-sentence.

She looked between the men, noticing the stiff posturing and varying looks of surprise. 

“Solo, long time no see.” Poe’s face splitting into a grin. Rey noticed that Ben’s expression changed to something flat and stoic before he spoke. A tell that he was trying to control his emotions.

“Yeah, I don’t know why you sound so surprised by that.” His eyes flicked to Rey, his lips pressing into a thin line, movement that implied a nervousness.

Rey’s eye brows shot up on confusion.

“You two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Poe piped up “our parents were friends while we grew up. I’m surprised we never made this connection before today.” There was an edge to Poe’s voice that she couldn’t quite read and Ben moved to put the beer in the fridge. She knew that Ben’s relationship with his parents had been rocky for a long time and couldn’t imagine what his relationship with Poe had entailed. She wanted to pull him aside and make sure he was ok but knew that would probably not be received well. They’d discuss it later.

“Huh, such a small world.” She said to try and diffuse the palpable tension. “Well, let’s eat.” She said, grabbing the serving bowl as she walked to the table.

She instantly regretted not having given either of them more information about each other. The conversation was stilted, Ben would occasionally glare at Poe who seemed to keep politely focused on Rey throughout the meal. Ben barely touched his food and refused dessert. She wouldn’t call Ben’s behavior bad, she knew that being abrasive and irritable was a second skin to him, but he still seemed to struggle with maintaining any line of conversation throughout the meal. Ben excused himself early, begging off due to an early morning. She knew it was a lie, but allowed it in order to end this awkward dinner as soon as possible.

After closing the door behind Ben she turned to Poe who seemed to look at her appraisingly.

“Ben Solo is your work friend? I have to say I’m surprised I’ve always found him to be unsociable and rude, even aggressive at times. I hope he’s gotten control of his temper.”

“He is my friend.” Trying not to come off as defensive, only to lose that battle with the next sentence. “And I know he can come off a bit… Taciturn… but he’s always been nice to me.”

“Well… If he’s important to you then, but I think it’d be best if I don’t interact with him much.” Poe wrapped her up in a hug then, rubbing her back. His words stung Rey but honestly it would probably be Ben’s request as well. She knew that Ben tended to keep his distance from most people but he had always gotten along with Finn and Rose. As far as she knew she was the only person he really talked to outside of work and the gym he went to.

She felt at a loss, it seemed every time she felt that she had found a way to make her own family there was something that always seemed to get in the way of that. With Finn and Rose it was physical, they had moved closer to Rose’s parents in order to have their baby. But she didn’t know what to do with the distance created with Poe and Ben. She decided that would be a decision for another day, see how things pan out. 

“C’mon, babe. Let’s go find something to watch on Netflix and eat those cupcakes.” Poe kissed her on the temple before releasing her and going to turn on the TV.


	5. Best of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to present

Present

Ben awoke to complete darkness and to a pounding on his door. He peeked at his watch seeing that it was just after 10. The blackout curtains had been worth every penny.

The noise continued so he pushed himself up from his makeshift bed stretching out the kinks in his neck and back. He never put a shirt on after Rey came last night and was now regretting it with the chill in the apartment, remembering that it was supposed to be the first cold snap of the season.

He pulled the door open, regretting immediately the width he had allowed it to swing when Dameron was shoving himself against the door and crowding into his space.

“Rey!” Poe shouted.

Ben shoved him back into the hall, shutting the door behind him. He hoped rather than believed that Dameron hadn’t woken her up and that if he did she’d still be able to have some peace from him. Ben crossed his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to look as imposing and threatening as possible, built like a brooding tree it wasn’t hard.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” Ben said in a low voice, hoping to keep things down, grateful not for the first time that he had the floor to himself.

“I came to get Rey. She made a mistake.”

“Look Dameron, I know that this cute little act works on some people, but not me. I know what you did to her. She doesn’t want to see you.”

“Just because she came here doesn’t mean that she’s going to stay slumming with you.” Poe said with a sneer. “I know she thinks you’re some poor misunderstood charity case, but I made her see reason once Solo, she’ll see it again.”

Ben’s fists clenched again and he rolled his neck but he maintained control of himself.

“I don’t want you here, if Rey wants to talk to you or see you then she knows how to get a hold of you and I won’t stop her. Unlike you, I don’t get off on controlling and manipulating others. But you need to leave now. If you don’t, I will be calling the police and they can escort you out of the building. However, if you so much as look at her wrong there will be no cops dealing with you, it’ll just be me.”

“Threatening violence Solo? How typical.” His sneer shifted to a smirk. “I’m sure your mother would love to hear that you haven’t changed one bit.” Poe continued, thinking himself clever.

Ben huffed a laugh, though there was no humor in it. “I think I’ve passed the point of worrying about what my mother thinks of me, unlike you.” Ben lowered his arms ready to turn to walk back into his apartment.

“Fuck her all you want, Solo. She’ll still come back to me.” Seeing red Ben turned and stepped swiftly into Poe’s space, grabbing a fistful of his coat and pulling Poe up close to his face to close the height difference.

A flash of fear crossed Poe’s face, feeding the wild beast that was now pacing in Ben’s chest cavity. 

“You will not speak of her like that again.” Ben spoke in a barely audible growl. “She will make her own choices. We will be picking up her things with a Police escort this week, while you are at work. If you have any concerns you can call my attorney, I’ll be happy to get you the information.”

Ben shoved Poe away from him, Poe knocking back into the wall behind him and walked back into his apartment before he could get baited into a fight. He had to strain to not slam the door behind him. His effort all for nothing as he saw Rey sitting against the wall behind the door. Fresh tears running down her cheeks, curled in on herself and still in the hoodie from the night before.

Ben slid down the door and sat next to her inching himself close enough that his shoulder nudged into hers. His intention was not to crowd her but to offer her to take comfort if she wanted it.

She leaned into him a marginal amount and let out a breath which released his tension from the altercation.

“I can’t afford an attorney, Ben.” She said weakly.

“Maybe not, but I can.” He said with a shrug. “Besides it’ll just be my uncle Lando and I’m pretty sure he owes me a favor.” He quipped an attempt to break the bleak mood.

She huffed out a halfhearted laugh which he took as an accomplishment.

“C’mon” He said while getting up off of the floor. “We’re going to get up, eat something and then we can talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. I can hear you over-thinking already and you haven’t even had coffee yet.” He offered his hand out to her to pull her up from the floor. “Plus you should really go grab my phone and call Finn and Rose, but only if you’re ready. I know that they would have been your first choice to go to if they still lived in town.” He wasn’t trying to be bitter or judgmental, just honest but a look of sorrow still crossed Rey’s features. If Ben was considered her friend, Finn was like a brother to her and he knew how important that was to Rey.

Rey nodded a bit stiffly as she stood. She stepped into him for a hug.

“Thanks Ben” she said, coming out as a muffled hiccup against his shoulder. 

“It’s nothing, really. Pancakes ok?”

She stepped back smiling genuinely then. “Pancakes would be great.”

\--

She felt nervous about calling Finn. The distance hadn’t kept them from being close, but it was easier for her to have these kinds of conversations in person. She knew Finn and Poe still talked and was unsure how much Poe had disclosed about their last month together. She had kept most of their disputes to herself, not wanting her interactions to taint other’s perception of him.

She picked up Ben’s phone noting that he already had several missed calls, 2 being from Finn himself. She clicked on the notification and hit the call back button and pressed the phone to her ear.

“Ben! Thank goodness we’ve been so worried, have you seen Rey?”

“Hey Finn, this is Rey.” Dread settled in her stomach. “Worried about what?”

“Poe said you stormed out last night and he hoped that we had heard from you. What happened did you two have a fight?”

“Is that what he told you.” She didn’t have the capacity to be surprised and could feel her anger seething under the surface.

“Yeah? So what happened?”

“He blew off our plans to go out. I didn’t even hear from him until he came home at 2 in the morning. I told him it was really disappointed and hurt that he took our date night to go get drunk at the bar. We started arguing so I told him I was going to leave so he could cool off. That’s when he got physical with me so I packed my things and left.“ She let out I sigh, exhausted from the little sleep and high emotions.

“Oh my god, Rey! Are you ok? I’m sorry, Peanut, I can’t believe he’d do that. I had no idea, I never would have encouraged you guys being together if I did. Where did you stay?”

“At Ben’s.”

“Is he ok with you being there? I know you guys haven’t been on the best of terms since you moved in with Poe. I’m so sorry I can’t be there for you.”

“Yeah he seems fine with me here. We’re going to talk about what the plan is going forward. I just hate that he was right, you know? I wanted so badly to believe that whatever had happened between Ben and Poe could be fixed or left in the past. I wanted it to be something that was over exaggerated or youthful indiscretions. If I would have been willing to hear Ben out maybe none of this would have happened.”

“Rey hon, you’re stubborn to a fault and want to see the best in people. Ben knows that better than anyone and he won’t hold that against you.”

“I hope not.” The tears started coming again. She took a breath, steadying herself for what she was about to say next. “But Poe was manipulating me the whole time and I didn’t see it. I called you guys less, I stopped talking to Ben all together. I stopped going to do all the other things I typically enjoy like that Zumba class and the silent book club, and I never realized that’s what he was doing until I was walking alone in the rain at 3 am. Like he did all of that in a few months, what would my life look like in a few more if I didn’t leave last night.”

“I’m sorry Rey, I just figured I was hearing from you less because of you guys being new to the relationship and that it would pass…Wait why were you walking? What happened to your car?”

“Oh. I guess I forgot to mention that Poe took my keys and smashed my phone.”

“Oh Peanut, I’m so sorry. “

“Finn, I moved in with him because I couldn’t afford to live alone after you guys moved. I don’t know how I’m going to afford to fix all of this.”

“Sweetie you know Rose and I can try to help, I’m sure we’ve got an old phone lying around here somewhere. We can ask around see if someone we know needs a roommate.”

“Ok. Thanks Finn.” She heard plates knocking around in the kitchen. 

“Hey look. I think I’m going to go, Ben and I still have some things to talk about and I’ll know more about how long I can stay here and all of that and let you know.” She picked at a ball of fuzz on her sleeve.

“Ok, let us know what you need. I’m assuming we can call Ben if we need to get a hold of you?”

“Yeah.”

“Peanut, we love you.”

“I know, love you too, Finn. Tell Rose I miss her.”

“Sure thing, bye.”

“Bye.”


	6. Title and Registration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 months ago

B--

She didn’t see it. Ben knew she didn’t see it.

“Can’t you see he’s trying to control you? He’s got you fooled just like everybody else.” He spoke in a low and angry tone. She looked like he had slapped her.

“Ben, he’s been nothing but nice and I can’t afford to keep living by myself. The apartment has been draining my savings and I already gave up the lease. If I move into his condo then it’ll be a little bit cheaper for me to live there and I can hopefully start saving again. Besides, I’m over there practically every night anyway.”

“Rey, please don’t move in with him. You can stay with me I don’t even care if you pay rent. Please.” He didn’t like the desperation that crept into his voice, but he could see he was losing her. They hadn’t hung out in weeks and he couldn’t help the defensive tones that crept into his voice when she’d cancel plans last minute to spend time with Poe.

“Ben I can’t. You two already don’t get along. You avoid any events he’ll be present at and I can’t live like that. Please don’t ask me to choose.”

“Rey, I wouldn’t ask you to choose, not if you’re really happy.” He stated firmly, seeing he was losing the battle. He could hear the sorrow in his own voice.

“Ben, you’re my friend I don’t want to lose you.” She reached across the table to touch his arm. “If I moved in with you would you let him come over, to your place? Let him stay the night?”

Ben scoffed. “What kind of question is that?”

“Answer it.” Rey stated firmly.

“No.” Despite knowing that would be the final nail in his coffin. Rey pulled her arm back and he felt gutted.

R--

Rey felt sorrow and grief wash over her. “Then I guess that settles it.”

Ben’s face went from tense and frustrated to blank.

“Ok, Rey. I’ll be around if you need anything. I’ll see you at work then.” He stood up, grabbing a wad of bills from his pocket and dropped them on the table and left. She wanted to cry but crying in public wasn’t a thing she was about to resort to. She threw money down on the table for her own drink, despite knowing that Ben probably covered both their bills and a sizable tip, then proceeded to walk to her car alone. 

The last few months since Ben and Poe had met had been difficult. Ben avoided situations where Poe was included, and Poe seemed to have more free time to show up to trivia nights and weekends out. Poe would frequently whisk her off somewhere when she and Ben had tentative plans. Anytime she tried to tell Poe that he couldn’t just expect her to drop plans he would pout or act remorseful and she’d give in.

She knew Poe and Ben hated each other. They had a complicated past, Ben was hurt over how his parents seemed to favor Poe over him. That somehow Poe was everything he wasn’t. And she could see how he could believe that. Poe was outgoing, charismatic, he could talk anyone into anything it seemed. Ben tended to keep to himself, was easily frustrated and impatient, and had struggled with anger management when he was younger, his parents even sending him away. However, he got along with Rey and she had seen vast improvements from when she had first met Ben. She knew Ben struggled with letting people in his life, after all, he had only just started amending things with his parents, and only at Rey’s insistence.

Poe had been sympathetic when he heard about her conversation with Ben. Reassuring her that that is just how he tends to be. That she didn’t do anything wrong. Stating that some of Ben’s past anger had been directed at himself. Poe even blamed himself for Ben fighting him in high school. Poe blamed himself for Ben getting sent away for his temper and violence. Rey promptly told Poe that Ben’s behaviors were Ben’s responsibility. Her hurt and anger still fresh.

When she went into work the following Monday Ben barely looked at her or spoke to her unless it directly involved work. He didn’t show up at lunch time in the staff lounge. She was hoping that maybe with some time and space he would come around, see her side of things. Let the past go, but days turned into weeks with barely any interaction. Occasionally he would sit with her at lunch, but conversation was stilted and forced. Often seeming like he had something to say, but would usually just sit quietly eating his salad, talking about work. Finally, he stopped trying all together. She didn’t have it in her to try to play middleman between the two.

Rey felt grief for losing Ben but didn’t know how to fix it. It was out of her control. She started to try and get Poe to make amends with Ben but then would find herself in more arguments with Poe. She stopped asserting herself, afraid to lose the one person she still felt like she had. They had been arguing more frequently since living together and she was starting to question her decision to move in with Poe.

She was sleeping terribly. She knew Ben saw the dark circles under her eyes from the sleepless nights after Poe and her would fight. A month after moving in she watched Ben walk up to her, concern written on his face. But she abruptly turned away and left her desk. Leaving him standing in the middle of the office. If he couldn’t support her a month ago, what could he possibly have to say now. The fear of him saying ‘I told you so’ was stronger than her need to ask for help.

She had grown up alone, had been through worse. She was determined to make it through this. 


	7. I Am on Your Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never meant to hurt you  
> Sometimes these thoughts have a way making sense  
> Secrets that we keep turn into accidents  
> If you burn away the bonds with the fires of his wrists  
> The positive, the negative, have a way of blending in  
> End this now, we've gone too far  
> Let's take back words that turned to scars  
> If I could find a way to turn back time  
> Have to let you know I'm on your side  
> Took the easy way out, I showed my self doubt  
> The only way to ease the pain is to drink until I drown  
> I'll say it out loud my voice is the only sound  
> So listen up, I'll spell it out  
> I need your help, I need it now
> 
> Hawthorne Heights

Ben was busy flipping pancakes on his electric griddle while bacon crisped in a pan on the stove, when Rey came back out of his room. She looked like she had been crying again with her bloodshot and red rimmed eyes but she looked calm for the moment.

“How’s Finn?” He asked.

“Good I guess, we didn’t really get to talk about him.”

“How’d he take it? I know they were friends.”

“A bit surprised but supportive. Poe had called him at some point asking if they had heard from me. Then blamed me for the fight.”

Ben hummed, arguments with his parents stirring up in his memory.

“Seems very on brand.” He muttered at the pancakes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” She sucked her lower lip in to her mouth, as if to bite back her emotion.

“Rey, I appreciate that, but you don’t have anything to be sorry for.” His mouth was turned down in a frown. “I should have been more upfront with you from the start about my history with him, but I didn’t think it was my place to tell you what to do. I am also very aware that I wasn’t 100% innocent when we were kids, so, I think a part of me hoped that he would have been good to you. That maybe he changed.”

“He told me you attacked him.” She said it more like a question than a statement.

“I did, I broke his nose.” A corner of his mouth lifted to a smirk. “He had it coming, but I shouldn’t have acted that way, I know that.” He looked at her before turning back to put the bacon on a plate. “I guess a part of me hoped that he would have learned some valuable lessons, but I guess not.”

“Why did you break his nose?” There was no judgement or anger, just curiosity.

“He threw a party at my parents’ house while they were gone for a weekend. Invited about 150 high schoolers under the guise of just a few friends over for a movie night. Next thing I knew there was a DJ by the pool, my dad’s good scotch was being vomited into the fichus, and the police were called. He pinned the blame on me, stating that I was trying to fit in with the popular kids. Somehow, my parents believed him or at least my mother did. So, they sent me to live with my Uncle Luke saying that I needed to build better confidence and respect for their house. I believe the phrase ‘be more like Poe’ was used. Hence the state of my relationship with them when I first met you.”

“I’m sorry he did that to you, to them.” She stared at her plate a far-off look to her face.

He shrugged at her.

“It’s done, Rey. What I’m upset about now is how he’s treated you. About how I’ve treated you.” He put the plates on the counter mulling over what to say next. “I’m sorry I pushed you away. You didn’t deserve that, and I did it when you needed me most. I don’t think I can forgive myself of that.”

“Then why did you?” A flash of hurt marring her features.

He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “I don’t know. Some part of me was afraid that I was going to ruin things for you and keep you from being happy. The other part was afraid that I’d make things worse, make you hate me, so you wouldn’t even come to me if you needed to.” He felt is throat tighten and swallowed. “The worst part is that you’re one of the few friends I have. I couldn’t bear to see you choose Poe over me, like my parents did.”

She made a move to protest.

“I know that it wasn’t about that and it wasn’t about me.” He stated firmly. “But the feelings were the same and I reacted badly. But that is my stuff not your stuff, and I put that on you and I’m sorry.”

Rey nodded stiffly as she swiped at her cheeks. “So, what now?”

“I can text my uncle Lando and see if he can meet us for dinner. See what he thinks your next move should be. I have an old acquaintance on the police force here, he might be able to help get your stuff out of his condo.” She flinched at that. “I know you don’t like police, but I’m afraid Poe will make it difficult for you if you don’t, so whatever you need to feel comfortable we’ll do.”

Rey nodded, taking in the information.

“Okay, I’ll try my best to be work with that.” She put her fingers through her hair, tugging at the strands a bit, a sign that she was stressed. “I don’t have any money for this. I just paid him rent and I spent the majority of my savings on the apartment after Finn and Rose moved out.” She got up from the counter after barely touching her food and began to pace. “I don’t know how I’m going to repay anyone let alone rent on a new place.” A hint of desperation creeping into her voice.

“Then we’ll set up my office to be your room and you’ll stay here until you’re able to make a different choice.”

“Ben I don’t’ want to be-“

He cut her off then a stern look and a sigh.

“A what? a burden?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest resting his elbows on the table trying to calm the frustration that she still viewed herself that way. 

She looked away again her cheeks reddening with shame or anger he couldn’t say. Rey sometimes struggled with Ben’s abrasiveness. 

“Rey I’m not going to put you in a position to be homeless or feel like you need to go back to that prick just so you have a place to live. I have space here and you are _always_ welcome. In fact, my mom will probably decorate your room herself just because of how grateful she is to you. So, stay, please. I don’t care if you do it for my mom, or to please me, or because you need to but I’d prefer it if you stayed because that is what you _want_ to do.” 

She chewed on her bottom lip turning over her thoughts.

“I’ll pay you whatever I owe.”

“I’m sure you will. And though I do appreciate it, I also recall a certain someone calling me a trust fund baby about two months after working with me.” He felt a smirk cross his face at the memory.

She huffed out a breath looking guilty and sat back at the counter and continued to pick at her food.

“I apologized for that.”

“I know, I wasn’t even mad, you weren’t wrong. You know I appreciate someone who can call me out on my bullshit.” If he was being honest with himself that was the moment when he realized that she would be worth breaking rules for.

She rolled her eyes at him then, pulling a chuckle from him. 

“So, I have a few errands to run and a trip to the gym. Do you want to tag along or would you rather stay here?”

“I think I’ll stay, maybe take a soak in your tub if that’s ok, I’m still exhausted.”

“Ok, how’s your ribs?” His eyes passed over her figure looking for changes in her movement.

“They’ll heal. They’re tender but I don’t think that they require medical attention.”

“Ok. I’ll leave my phone here with you in case you need it.”

She opened her mouth to protest so he cut her off with a motion with his hand.

“No arguing.”

“You know for someone who has claimed that you don’t want to make choices for me you sure are making a lot of them.” She scowled but there was no real heat to her tone.

“If you really don’t like the decisions I’m making you know you can tell me to back off and I will right?” He paused giving her time to read him, he knew what it was like to try and figure out who was your ally after being manipulated by others. 

“I’m not used to others taking care of me.” She said around a bite of pancake.

“I know, that’s probably why I’m being so adamant about it.”

They ate quietly for a moment.

“Rey?”

“Hmm.”

“You’re not going back there, right?”

She shook her head. “Why would you ask that?”

“I knew Poe a lot longer than you. I know how he can get into people’s heads make them think he’s worthy of their time. He’s very good at reminding people how important he is to them.”

“I might need reminders. But I don’t want to go back, he’s not who I thought he was.”

“Well then, I guess this is the welcome to the BDE club.”

She cocked her head and wrinkled her nose in confusion.

“Bad Dameron Energy Club. What did you think I meant?” He deadpanned. She threw her napkin at him and he laughed. “God, Rey. Get your head out of the gutter.” Ben said in feigned shock.

“I missed this.” She said with a slight smile.

“Me too.” They both stood up to go about what they had set for the day. “Bath products are under the sink if you need anything help yourself. I’ll pick up stuff to make dinner tonight if you have any requests.”

“Nope you know I’ll eat anything.”

“Thought so. I’ll call Lando quick. I’ll probably be gone for a few hours.”


	8. Build god, then we'll talk

Rey

After lounging in Ben’s oversized tub Rey went to change but discovered her clothes still were a bit damp, they also smelled of Poe’s laundry soap which she suddenly couldn’t stomach. She put on the clothes she slept in and threw the other clothes in the wash. It had only been an hour since Ben had left and now, she was at a loss of what to do. She looked at the phone seeing a few more missed calls, but nothing from Finn or Rose. 

It was then that she really felt alone. Ben wasn’t home so there was nothing to distract her from her darker thoughts. Finn had been supportive this morning, but she knew he was busy with his own things, he and Rose were due to have a baby soon. 

She paced between the kitchen and living room considering the past few months. She had felt so connected to Poe at first, but then things got weird when she introduced him to Ben. Knowing the history that he had with Ben, looking back on it made her feel like he had picked her to seek out some petty revenge fantasy. She felt used.

As she paced, she thought back on Poe’s initial offer to move in, it was too good to be true. He made himself out to be kind and generous. Poe had seemed ok with the deal on rent and utilities at first, after all, it was his idea. However, the past few weeks he had implied she was a burden. It had made her feel trapped. She’d made a commitment to live with him and didn’t have the funds to move anywhere else.

Tired of the silence Rey decided to play some music, finding an early 2000’s playlist on Spotify. She knew she was spinning out into a depressive state but couldn’t help take one step further into self-destruction.

She had every right to feel hurt or sad or worried, but the new hurt just seemed to dig up the old. After a childhood of hurt and abandonment she was yet again disappointed by someone who had taken an interest in her. It wasn’t long before she found herself in the kitchen, curled up against the cabinets, one of the handles digging into her back, not that she could bring herself to care. She took turns between crying and her thoughts spiraling into a numbing void.

\--

Ben

It took Ben about 4 hours to finally get back. He had a good work out at the gym, running into one of the women who worked for the local police department, who was able to guide him in ways to help Rey access her things at the condo. He stopped at the store to get groceries for the week, knowing Rey would be there he bought a few extra things that he knew she would eat. He also stopped to get Rey a cheap pay-as-you-go phone. He knew she wouldn’t want him spending the money on her, but he also didn’t want her going without a phone.

When he pushed open the door to the apartment, he was greeted by blaring and vaguely familiar emo music, the smell of lavender bubble bath and the sight of Rey in the same shirt and hoodie she slept in. She was curled up against the cabinet, her shoulder pressed into the corner and her forehead resting on her knees. Her hair blocked her face from his view.

He put down the bags he had brought in and crouched down next to her. He was unsure if she even heard him come in with how loud the music was. 

“Rey.” He spoke loud enough for her to hear him but still trying not to shout.

She started and turned her head to look at him. She pulled his phone out of her pocket turning off the music, the quiet sounding strange to his ears.

She looked at him sheepishly before turning her gaze back to the floor.

“Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, are you ok?” 

“Yeah… Too much time to think, I guess.” She continued to look far away, he gave her a few moments, an invitation to talk about what she was thinking but she just continued to zone out. 

“Lando is going to meet us here in 2 hours.” She nodded and drew her eyes back to him. “I got you a phone to use until you get yours set back up.” Those words were greeted with a glare. He braced himself for impact. There she was.

“Ben! Why did you do that?” She went to stand up but winced and shifted back down to a seated position.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Stopping himself before making another insistence about a doctor.

She nodded at him, moving to get up again, using his shoulder to steady herself. Ben quickly following her to stand.

“Why did you buy me a phone?” She looked hurt at this. “Do you think I can’t do anything for myself?”

“No, Rey. I know you are quite capable.” He heaved a sigh. “I just want to know that you’re ok. I don’t trust Dameron now that I know what he’s done. I want to make sure you can contact the people that matter to you. It’s just a cheap phone until you can get a replacement. It barely has real internet.”

She nodded stiffly her jaw tense. 

“Do you need my help with anything?” She asked, glaring at the grocery bags.

“Not really.” He shrugged in an attempt to diffuse her temper. “You can help if you really want to, but like I said, you can do more in a few days when things are more settled. I got this.” He hoped that he sounded reassuring and not placating.

She nodded stiffly before taking a seat at the island counter.

He started putting groceries away, keeping out what he intended on using. He then handed her the bag that had the phone in it. It still needed to be set up.

“I talked to someone I know at the gym, they’re a cop. They said that if you can wait until Tuesday, they can pull some strings to be there at the condo to get your stuff. They can only get us an hour to get your things and get out. I’m not sure how much you have there?”

“Oh. Um, not much. Clothes, some books and movies. Some of those things aren’t even unpacked.”

“Any big things? Furniture your bed?”

She grimaced, “yeah. But there’s no way we can get all of that.”

“I can make some calls. I know we can borrow my Uncle Chewie’s truck. That way we can at least get your bed and your dresser. See if we can get a few hands to help carry out boxes while you pack up what’s yours.”

“I would appreciate that. I’m gonna leave you to this, go finish my laundry so I don’t look like a little kid playing dress up when Lando comes over.”

Ben nodded and turned to his task.

Rey

A few hours later they were around the table, having finished Ben’s meal. His uncle was just as dapper as she had heard him describe in the past, and a horrible flirt. But he agreed to help Rey should she need it and directed her in the best ways of keeping any documentation needed. This included the fact that Ben was going to need to take pictures of her lip and ribs. 

“You guys get on that and make sure Ben sends me those photos, I’ll start a file on you.”

“Thank you, Lando.”

“Not a problem.” He shook her hand and gave her a wink.

“Ben, I’m glad you’re on speaking terms with your parents again. Let your dad know he still owes me.”

“I don’t know why you think he’s going to do anything but have a good laugh.”

Lando just chucked and pulled Ben into a hug, reaching up to muss his hair and he went out the door.

Ben shut the door behind him. 

“So, photos of my ribs huh?” 

“Yep, let’s go into my bathroom, probably has the best lighting.” He cleared his throat as if he was nervous.

Rey rubbed her hands over her arms, suddenly feeling anxious.

“You ok?”

She nodded stiffly

“If you’re uncomfortable we can find another way.”

“No, your uncle is right. I need to get the photographs otherwise it’s his word against mine and I trust you. I just hate all of this.” Ben rested his hand on her shoulder his thumb rubbing circles over the ball of it and she reached her hand up to give his a squeeze.

“Do you need to change into anything?” He asked his eye glancing away.

“No, I just have a tank top on under here, it was uncomfortable to wear anything more constricting.”

He nodded.

“We’ll have to use my phone I promise I’ll delete anything we don’t need and once you have access to everything it’ll be off my phone.” He let out a rush of breath, his lips pressing into a line as if nervous.

“It’s fine, I trust you. You should probably keep the originals as a back-up anyway.”

“Ok, let’s do this then.”

The walked into the bathroom, Ben experimented with the lighting to try to what best showed off the swelling of her lip. He took her chin in his hand to try and angle her face correctly and took several photos and a brief video. 

He stepped back away from her and she immediately pulled her top over her head and rolled up the bottom of her tank top. 

“Where is the bruise?” He asked, peeking up from his phone to catch her eye. He seemed nervous and unsure. A side of Ben that she didn’t see often.

She turned to give him her back and pulled the hem up further, wincing from the contortion.

She heard him hiss in a breath. It must have been worse than she thought.

“Is it bad?”

“I don’t know how I’m not going beat the shit out of him when we go get your stuff. You really should have gone to a doctor.” He put his hands on her waist moving her in order to get the best lighting. His finger slid under the strap of her shirt. She felt goose flesh erupt over her arms at the contact.

“Rey?”

“Yeah?”

“The bruise goes up over your shoulder blade too. It might be best to get a photo of your whole back. I can step out so you can change out of your shirt, cover up with a towel?”

Her jaw tensed. She trusted Ben, knew he was just looking out for her, but she couldn’t help but feel vulnerable and exposed. He handed her a towel before stepping out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. She winced as she took off her top and coved herself back up with the towel.

“Ok.”

Ben came back in, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before diverting his gaze.

Rey took the hint and turned, showing him all of her back. 

He adjusted her again, his warm hands grazing the skin of her shoulders to get her in the best lighting for the pictures.

She stood still waiting for him to finish.

“There, it’s done. Do you want to see for yourself?”

She shuddered at the idea but knew it’s for the best. The pain and bruise will heal she’ll forget and her need to be accepted could win over her need to keep herself safe. She’ll never forget the image and she’ll never forget the look on Ben’s face when their eyes meet before he hands her the phone. The skin on her back between her ribs and shoulder is a mottled mix of purple and blue and about the size of a grapefruit, she can even see the line from the piece of furniture that she fell on. She doesn’t bruise easily and hadn’t seen anything like this on herself since she was a kid. 

She nods stiffly and hands him back his phone, he turns to leave her then to get dressed again. 

Ben

He shuts the door softly behind him, clenching his fists in an attempt to quiet his rage. If he thought, he hated Poe before it was nothing to what he was feeling now. He knew he’d have to call Chewie and his dad about the truck and getting Rey’s stuff moved. He walked out onto the roof to give himself some space for that.

“Ben? It’s a surprise hearing from you.”

“Yeah, Hey. Uncle Chewie can I borrow your truck this week?”

“Sure, what for?”

“I need to help a friend move out of Poe’s place.”

“Oh, that girl you work with?”

“Yeah? How’d you know?”

“Oh, I had dinner at your parents tonight and Poe stopped by to cry on your mother’s shoulder. I’m actually surprised that she hasn’t called to chew you out yet. Although, your dad and I left before he did, so he may still be there.”

“Is my dad with you?”

“Yeah, he’s right here. You wanna talk to him?”

“Please.”

He heard the muffle of the phone transferring hands.

“Hey, Ben. I hear you’re suddenly very popular with the ladies. That’s my boy, I knew you’d figure it out eventually.”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to lash out.

“Yeah, look dad. It isn’t like that. We’re just friends. Poe hurt her and I need help getting her stuff out of his place this week.”

Han was quiet on the other end.

“What do you mean he hurt her?”

“Pushed her, took her phone and her keys so she couldn’t leave, had to walk 3 miles to come see me… at 3 am in the rain.”

He heard his dad snort into the phone.

“Some tigers don’t change their stripes.” One thing about his dad, he always believed Ben about Poe’s bullshit. He just wasn’t strong enough to go against Luke and Leia when they got something in their head. 

“He really hasn’t.”

“K. You let me and Chewie know when you need our services. I’ll see if I can get a couple of the guys from the shop to come help. What kind of window are we looking at?”

“Probably middle of the day, hopefully an hour but I don’t know. It might be less.”

“He’s already come whining to your mother about this, I’m not sure how sympathetic she’ll be.”

“Doesn’t matter. This is about Rey being safe from him if mom can’t accept that I can’t change it.”

“Ok, son. We’ll be waiting on your call to let us know what’s going on and we’ll see you then. I’ll do my best to work on your mother from my end.”

“Sure, dad. Thanks.”

Ben felt better about having help to get Rey out of Poe’s place but was anxious about how his mom would react with all of this.

His phone vibrated in his hand and sure enough, speak of the devil and she will appear.

“Hey, mom.”

“Don’t you hey mom me. Like you haven’t intentionally hurt and betrayed Poe.”

“Look, I’m sure that Poe is up to his usual tricks mom but I’m not going to sit here and defend myself. You can either hear me out or this conversation is over.”

That seemed to get her attention. Although, they were building their relationship they were still on shaky ground. And he knew that even if Ben was her son, Poe was the one in all of the family photos. He knew his mom wanted to have a relationship with him, but he didn’t know if she was capable of seeing Poe for who he really was.

“I don’t understand how you and Rey could do this to him.”

“Did he tell you what he did?”

“They were just going through a rough patch, father and I have them all the time.”

He rolled his eyes at the comparison.

“Yeah, well, your rough patches never ended in bruises on your body, or you taking dad’s keys so he couldn’t safely leave, or either of you throwing your trauma in one another’s faces.” He had heard some doozies launched between his parents, but none of it ever focused on their childhoods.

“What do you mean bruises? He said she was leaving him for you and stormed off.”

“Do you really think I’d do that? Or for her for that matter? The only reason we’re talking right now is because of her. Or do you even care to know me at all?”

He let out a sigh, suddenly tired.

“Look mom, you either believe and trust me or you don’t. Rey is my friend and she’s here because this is where she is safest, and I want her here. If you want to continue to talk to me, you’ll let this go. Keep your relationship with Poe for all I care. But if you can’t even trust me to do what’s right then I can’t keep doing this and I don’t know why you’d bother trying.”

“Benny, I’m sorry I just don’t understand. Poe-”

“You never have, Mom. I gotta go.”

He hung up without waiting for a goodbye. He turned to go back inside to find Rey standing in the doorway. He didn’t hear her come out.

“Ben, I’m sorry I just came to… I didn’t…” She backed away from him and he could see that her eyes were wet with unshed tears, even in the low light of the night.

“Rey, there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“But your mom, you were just beginning to fix things and I ruined it… I always ruin it…” She turned then and walked into the building the door swinging shut behind her before he could catch up.

He followed her into the apartment.

“Rey, you didn’t ruin anything.” He said softly as he shut the door behind him. “If anyone ruined things it’s Poe and maybe even my mother.”

She looked so lost, so he walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders stooping to have his eyes level with hers.

“You ruin nothing, I wouldn’t even be on speaking terms with her if it wasn’t for you. I would hate my job if it wasn’t for you. I’d be an insufferable asshole for a whole 365 days a year if it wasn’t for you.” If Rey only knew how much he deeply meant that she made his life better.

She gave him a half smile, that he could tell she didn’t feel.

“Hey, let’s watch a movie and eat too much ice cream huh?”

She heaved a sigh and he knew that she would at least be able to move past whatever roadblock she was at for now. 

They had made it to almost the end of the movie when he realized that Rey was snoring softly next to him, her head at an odd angle on the arm of the sofa.

He walked to his room to make sure the bed was turned down and returned, gently lifting Rey off the couch. He tried to be careful not to press into the spot on her back.

He laid her on the bed, covering her with the blanket before moving over to the dresser to get some sleep pants and fresh shirt.

“Ben.” He heard Rey murmur softly behind him.

“Yeah? You ok?”

“Can you stay in here?”

He turned to look at her, she looked so small and vulnerable.

“Yeah, no problem. Let me go get changed.” She visibly relaxed and nodded. There’s no way he’d deny her, besides they’d shared a bed a few times before. It wasn’t a big deal.

He returned a few minutes later to turn out the lights as we walked to his side of the bed. He was careful not to encroach on her space as he got comfortable.

“Thanks, Ben.”

“Always, Rey.”

It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep.

Rey

She was running or rather trying to. Her legs felt like jelly, she could feel herself sink into the floor like quicksand. Nothing but dark wilderness ahead of her. Why couldn’t she find them?

“Get back here you little shit!”

She could hear him approaching. The stench of stale beer and cigarettes filling her nostrils.

“They’re never coming back for you girl!” 

Hot tears started streaming down her face, she swore she saw taillights in the distance.

“Rey. Rey.” Her eyes snapped open her body paralyzed from the dream.

“Hey, Rey. You’re here, you’re safe.” She woke to being engulfed in warmth her hands clenched in fists around the fabric of Ben’s shirt.

She laid there for several moments, her breathing evening out before she wiped the tears from her face. Ben didn’t say anything, just held her quietly. His bicep bulging under her head as he held her to him. His hand stroking the hair out of her face before cupping the back of her head.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked a while later, it was still dark, they must not have been asleep long.

She shook her head.

“Are you going to be able to go back to sleep?”

She shrugged, afraid to speak in case she was to wake up alone.

“Ok, is this okay?” He meant him holding her. She nodded quickly, hoping to convey that this was more than okay. She hadn’t had a nightmare like this in a while and for the first time she had someone here with her. It was already better than ever before.


	9. Blue and Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should've done something but I've done it enough  
> By the way your hands were shaking  
> Rather waste some time with you  
> And you never would have thought in the end  
> How amazing it feels just to live again  
> It's a feeling that you cannot miss  
> And it burns a hole through everyone that feels it
> 
> Blue and yellow-- The used

Rey

Rey woke up to bright light alone in the bedroom. She looked at her phone and realized that it was nearly 10. She rubbed her eyes and walked out to the living area to find Ben scrolling through his phone. 

“Morning sunshine.” Ben greeted her with mock enthusiasm.

“Morning, how long have you been up?”

“Maybe an hour?”

“I didn’t keep you up did I?” Rey asked him.

He looked at her a moment before answering as if trying to discern the purpose of her question. 

“No. Did you want breakfast? I can make us something.”

“Sure, that would be nice.” 

Ben got up and started pulling out pans and eggs.

“So, I figured today I’d clean out the spare room and make some room for your things. Are you planning to go to work tomorrow?”

“Yes, I have some things to do if we’re going to take off a day to move my stuff out.”

Ben nodded.

“I’ll try to get a more specific time and window from Phasma today.” 

Rey suddenly felt herself feeling overwhelmed.

“Are they going to wear their uniforms?” Rey asked, wringing her hands together.

Ben considered her for a moment.

“I can request she doesn’t.” She felt herself tense up. She knew she was being silly, but the thought of uniformed officers was starting to send her into a panic.

“Hey, Rey?” She looked up at him and she could feel the tears on her lashes. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I just…” She looked around helplessly. “All of my bad memories involve them in some way.” She was starting to pant, and her hands were ice cold. She remembered the flash of badges in bad lighting and the swivel of red and blue lights illuminating the night and making grotesque shadows. Ben set down what he was doing and took the seat next to her, taking her hands in his. 

“Breathe Rey. I won’t let anything bad happen.” She started sobbing then and pulled her hands over her face and curled up into herself as much as the barstool would allow. How could he know that? How could he sound so sure? Bad things always happened.

Ben scooted closer, wrapping her up, his hand cupping the back of her head as she pressed into his chest.

“If you make me a list I can see if I can go instead. If that won’t work, I won’t leave your side Rey I swear. Chewie and my dad will both be there, they won’t let anything happen either.”

She heard him but couldn’t respond, couldn’t stop crying. This man seemed to have infinite patience for her, and she wondered when that would change, wondered when he would get tired of her and realize she wasn’t worth it. 

She didn’t know how long she’s been sitting there, but Ben picked her up and carried her to sit on the oversized chair. Her legs draped across his lap and her head tucked under her chin.

It felt like forever before her breath started to even out and her tears had stopped. Ben had just sat with her patiently, letting her sort through her emotions and offering her what comfort he could.

Ben

He didn’t know what to do for her other than literally hold her together. He tried comforting her at the counter but felt awkward and uncomfortable, he didn’t want his fidgeting to make her feel like she was too much for him. So, he hoisted her up and carried her to the chair, carful to not press into the bruise on her back, it was easier now that he knew where it was located. 

He had known that Rey hadn’t had an easy life but never considered all of the little broken pieces of memory that made up her childhood. He only knew the broad strokes but when it came to the fine detail he realized that he was clueless about what she had went through. He knew she was uncomfortable around police but who wasn’t really, he never realized that it went as far as to be part of the trauma itself. 

He let time pass and noticed that she started to calm, she finally moved her hands away from her face and he could see her eyes were swollen and red. Her nose congested from crying so hard. He didn’t make a move afraid she’d be skittish, recoil from him.

She leaned against him still and he let out a sigh. He relaxed with the thought that she accepted his comfort without a fight. It was an odd thing, usually she’d push a bit before accepting anything, like him picking up the bill on drinks or dinner, the cheap cell phone that he picked up, attorney fees for his uncle, whether or not she should stay here. If he was being honest it nearly made him suspicious that it was so out of character for her, but he decided that was a battle for another day. 

He needed to be careful when they went to pick up her stuff. There was no way that he could let Poe get to him, especially not with police presence. That would be traumatizing for her. Personally, he didn’t care if he got a disorderly conduct, he’d gladly break Poe’s nose again. But he knew if Rey witnessed that with the police there it would traumatize her and potentially damage the friendship that they were repairing.

He needed to talk to his dad. Get him to run interference, let him and Chewie do what they did best. Despite them both being in their 60’s neither would shy away from a fight if they found it entertaining enough. He pulled out his phone and noticed another missed call from his mother but didn’t have the energy to deal with her. 

He texted Phasma about the pick-up time and opened his food delivery app. Rey peeked at what he was doing.

“But you started breakfast.”

“Seems like work at this point. I can order a bunch of Chinese and then you can have leftovers for work tomorrow. Anything you’re hungry for?”

“Nothing right now, probably everything when it gets here.”

“That’s my girl.” He teased. “I’ll just order the usual favorites then. Extra appetizers?”

  
She nodded and shifted to get up, a bit of a wince on her face.

“You good?” He asked, looking up from his phone, figuring she needed a few minutes to herself but not wanting her to feel ignored.

“Yeah, just going to go clean up.” He finished their order in time to answer a call from Phasma.

“Hello.” 

“Yes, Ben. I have some news. Unfortunately, I can’t get official police presence. I can stop by after work though if you think that will help.”

“Why can’t you?”

“It’s just not something our department does if there’s been no formal charges of assault.” Ben let out a frustrated sigh.

“Ok. Can you do something for me though?”

“Sure.”

“I still want you to be there, but could you make sure you wear street clothes.”

Phasma let out a heavy sigh.

“Yeah.”

They arranged a time, 530 on Tuesday. That way they wouldn’t have to take off of work. He texted his dad the information and the situation with Poe and their need to not actually get in trouble with the police.

Next, he texted Poe. He wasn’t going to lower himself to calling the man and talk to him on the phone.

Ben: We’re coming to pick up Rey’s stuff at 5:30 on Tuesday. You can give her keys to my mom tomorrow or you can drop the keys off at our office building. I’ll let the receptionist know that you might be stopping by.

Ben hit send and then put his phone away. Not wanting to waste any more of his time and energy on Poe. 

He went in his spare room to see what could be moved right away. He knew he had a few empty totes in the hall closet that he could some of the stuff in. Move a few of the shelves into the living room. He was fortunate that he had a big space to work with.

He was starting to clear off furniture to move when Rey appeared in the doorway.

“Can I help?”

“Yes, actually. Can you go into the hall closet and get the empty totes? There should be 3 that are stacked together.”

“Sure thing.” 

When she came back, she started helping Ben put things away to go into the closet.

Their lunch came before they could get much done, but they took a break and ate. Ben watched to see that Rey ate well and used that to tell how she was emotionally. 

After they ate, they went back to work. Ben left her one of the small bookshelves to put her own things on and they moved the desk into Ben’s room. When the room was cleared Ben vacuumed thoroughly, unsure of when the last time he had done so. 

When he went back out to the living area, he found her curled up in the chair zoning off into space. She seemed to startle with his presence. He sat on the couch and pulled out his phone to check for messages.

Poe: Don’t worry about the keys. I’ll be at the apartment on Tuesday.

Ben: Whatever, just be there on Tuesday at 530.

“You’re brooding?”

“Hmm?” Ben was startled from his thoughts.

“You’re practically glaring at your phone.”

“Just setting up our pickup for Tuesday night. Poe is insisting on being there.” Her face fell and she wrapped her arms around her knees.

“Hey, you’re not dealing with him alone.”

“But you shouldn’t have to deal with him either…” 

Ben shrugged. “I was going to have to deal with him eventually anyways if I was going to have a relationship with my mom.”

“Can we watch a movie? I think I just need to not think for a bit.”

“Sure, comedy or horror?”

“Comedy.”

Ben immediately pulled up one of their favorites. Within half an hour she was asleep.


	10. Silver bullet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets her stuff and goes on an emotional roller coaster ride. Fortunately Ben is tall enough for this ride. Note tags have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions self-harm can be pretty intense emotionally after Rey picks up her stuff. Watch for ** at start of Self harm mention and *** when mentions of this ends. 
> 
> I’ve got a single silver bullet  
> I shot right through my heart  
> To prove I can survive without you
> 
> Can you sleep at night if I hold you tight?  
> I won't let you go, this feels so right  
> Please, don't leave this time  
> At least you’ll have my heart  
> You know you shine so bright
> 
> Tonight we'll fly away so high  
> You know the moon is full and I can't live without you
> 
> Silver Bullet-- Hawthorne Heights

Rey and Ben walked into work together. She was not oblivious to the wide stares nor to the whisperings an hour later. When their coworkers saw them together in the breakroom, she got the joy of people saying hi to her that rarely gave her the time of day. She could tell Ben was livid. So livid, that he clenched his fists and his nostrils flared, he was a dark storm through much of the day and she gave him his space. 

When they got to the apartment, he immediately went for a run while she made them dinner. 

She decided to call and decompress with Finn while she worked in the kitchen.

“So, how are you? I know I wasn’t available much this weekend.”

“It’s fine. I’m really dreading tomorrow, though.”

“Ben said he’d be there with his dad and his uncle, right?”

“Yeah. I just. I’m really starting to see all of the sneaky manipulative stuff Poe used to do and I don’t want Ben to fall for one of his traps.”

“Ben is a big boy knows what he’s doing.”

“Well, Ben is having his friend come, she’s a cop.“ She couldn’t quiet control the snarky tone.

“Are you going to be ok with that?”

“I have to be, I guess. Logically I know why he wants to do that, but I’ll always be that 5-year-old girl whose parents got carted off by the cops, or that 12 year old that was fostered by a dirty cop, or the 16 year old that got felt up by the cops when she got caught shoplifting… I just… It makes my skin crawl. I know that Ben’s perception is different, but I can’t help but feel like it’s some cosmic joke to remind me that life is terrible and nothing good ever lasts.”

“Rey, honey. You’re not that kid anymore. You have agency and a support system.”

“Yeah, still not much of one unfortunately. I have you and Ben, and you’re 900 miles away.” She couldn’t help tone of dejection. Her emotions were all over the place.

“Hey, now. You know you can always move out here with us.”

“I’m sorry. That was shitty of me.”

“You’re hurting Rey, I get it.” She felt herself tearing up again. She felt her thoughts spinning, her worst-case scenario brain making its presence known.

“What if something happens and Ben is taken away from me?”

“That boy is worse than me when it comes to being attached to you. You know, that right?”

“He wasn’t very attached when I was dating Poe.”

“Come on Rey. In hindsight can you blame him?”

“No.” She bit out.

“Is he here now, when it counts?”

“Yes.” She said reluctantly.

“Look I said it once and I’ll say it again. He’s got it bad for you, maybe after all of this is over, you’ll see that.”

“Pfft. Yeah, ok.” 

“You’re charming when you’re sulking, you know that?”

“I do. In fact, know that.” She said haughtily. 

She heard Ben’s footsteps in the hall.

“Look he’s back from his run. I’ll text you tomorrow?”

“Yes. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye.” 

She was just hanging up when Ben walked in. The storm cloud that had followed him all through the day at work had apparently been left behind. Now he was just a sweaty mass in a tank top and joggers.

“You look like you feel better.”

“I do, actually. What’s for dinner?”

“Tacos.”

“Perfect. Do I have time for a shower?”

“Yes.” Ben nodded and went off to his room.

Ben

Ben was cleaning up the kitchen since Rey had cooked.

“So, I took Wednesday off to let myself get unpacked and destress, I just think tomorrow will be too much.”

“Ok, do you want me to be off too?”

“I think I’ll be ok.” 

He had already talked to their boss and let them know that he might use some of his flex hours on Wednesday. They had built up quite a bit when him and Rey weren’t talking. 

“Ok, if you change your mind, I have some flex hours built up.” She considered him a moment before changing subjects.

“Our coworkers were awful today, weren’t they?” She scrunched her nose.

“I feel like they usually are but if you noticed they must have been bad.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“You skulked around the office all day, don’t tell me that you didn’t notice a shift.”

“I just don’t like all the attention, that’s all. Besides you know they’re all just speculating that we’re either dating or sleeping together. They all need hobbies.”

“Well, we are technically sleeping together and living together. Someone will win the pool I’m sure.” 

Ben ignored the first part of that sentence. 

“There’s a pool.” Rey rolled her eyes and gave snort of derision.

“Of course, there is. There was a pool going to see how long I’d eat lunches with you before I slapped you in the face but nobody won that one.”

That last bit he didn’t believe.

“Ha ha.” He bit out.

“Fine it was really to see if we were dating or just friends, but nobody could figure it out.”

Rey shrugged.

“So, is it movie time?” Rey asked hopeful.

“Sure.”

“Ok, you go pick something I’m going to go change into pj’s.” 

Ben nodded and went to go turn on the TV.

Rey returned wearing one of his shirts and her sleep pants.

“Comfortable?” He asked her teasingly.

“Is this ok? I spilled coffee on mine this morning and it was the only one I packed.” She frowned a little tugging on the hem.

“Rey, it’s fine. I’m teasing you.” He watched her relax at that and continued to scroll through Netflix. “Is it a good scary movie night?” He asked hopefully.

“How about a happy medium and pick an action. We can watch something scary when all of this stuff with Poe is over, I don’t even know what sleep is going to look like tonight.” She chewed anxiously on her bottom lip.

“What do you need to feel better?”

“For it to be Wednesday.”

“Fair. What if we plan something to look forward to?”

“Like what?”

“Anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Yup. My treat too.” She scowled at that. “You know you want to make me do something in public.”

“I really do… Fine. We go to the city and we go to a museum.”

“Which museum?”

Rey shrugged.

“Art museum?” She asked tentatively.

“Sure. Have you been there before?” Rey shook her head no.

“You’ll like it, but that means that we have to watch Biggs Darklighter’s day off.” She tilted her head at him. “Sometimes I forget you weren’t raised by television.”

Ben searched across apps and found how they could watch the move and pushed play.

He watched Rey as she watched the movie, enjoying her reactions to some of his favorite parts. By the time it was over he was relaxed and ready for bed and Rey was curled up on the couch next to him looking rather droopy eyed. 

“C’mon let’s go to bed.” He said, his hand curling around her ankle to get her attention. She nodded and stretched as she got up off the couch.

“I want to do all of the things the did.” She said around a yawn.

“I can guarantee you lunch and the art museum. The baseball game is a bit out of season sweetheart.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

“I’ll take off Wednesday, we can go then and if that doesn’t work, we can go over the weekend.”

She sighed warily.

“What?” He asked.

“I was an idiot before.”

“How so?”

“Poe never would have done that.” It made Ben freeze like a deer in the headlights. 

“Done what?”

“He never would have taken a day to make plans, especially if they were something that I really wanted to do. I don’t know why that didn’t bother me before.”

He relaxed minutely, continuing to walk toward his room.

“Well, like I’ve said, Poe is very good at getting people to see him the way that he wants.”

She nodded and gave him wry smile, walking into the spare bathroom to brush her teeth.

Ben let out a breath. For a minute he was afraid she would see right through him.

Rey

Rey had tossed and turned for the better part of the night until Ben reached over to her and pulled her across the bed to be the little spoon. Her anxiety settled and she was able to fall asleep shortly after that. 

Work had gone by faster than she had anticipated. The gossip mill was somewhat decreased but then she realized that it would be on full tilt if they were both gone tomorrow. Thinking about it was a nice distraction from the doom that was awaiting her after work. 

Her stomach was in knots over lunch and so she barely touched her food, Ben watching her poke at the left over Chinese but not saying anything about it.

By the time 5pm rolled around she was practically a wreck. 

Ben drove her to Poe’s building and parked behind a big moving truck.

A big burly guy got out of the driver’s side and that’s who she realized that it must be Chewie and another older man got out of the passenger side. When he smiled, she knew that was Ben’s dad.

The men walked up to her as Ben got out of his car and came around to her.

“You must be Rey.” Ben’s dad offered his hand to her. “I’m Han, nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“This is Chewie, he’ll be helping with the heavy lifting. Where are we taking all this stuff anyways?” 

“Back to mine.” Ben stated rather firmly. Han gave a nod before turning to walk up to the condo.

“Dad, we have to wait.”

“Why?” 

“We need to wait for Phasma.” 

“Pfft. What’s she gonna do. That kid in there is so far up your mom’s ass he ain’t gonna do anything stupid with Chewie and me both here. We’re going in to get Rey’s stuff.”

He continued into the building and Rey and Ben found themselves hurrying to keep up, while Chewie followed behind at a normal pace.

“Is your dad always like this?” Rey muttered under her breath to Ben.

“Yup.” Chewie and Ben stated in unison.

They made their way up the stairs to Poe’s condo.

“Have you been here before?” Ben asked Han.

“Yeah, that kid can’t do anything for himself, so I get voluntold to help.”

Han knocked on the door. It swung open to reveal Poe who looked surprised to see him there. Poe looked from Han and then to Rey as if he were surprised to see all of them there. 

“Hey, we’ve come to pick up the kid’s stuff. I assume it won’t be a problem.”

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket and was texting, who she assumed was Phasma.

“N-n-no. Not at all.” Poe stammered but caught himself and let them in. Han stepped through the doorway and stood uncomfortably close to Poe. Making an obvious point to place himself between Poe and the group of movers.

She immediately walked into the hall closet and pointed out for Ben which boxes were hers. She watched him and Chewie take the 4 boxes that were in there between the two of them and walk them out of the apartment, she was feeling nervous but she could hear Han talking down the hall and allowed herself to feel ok with that. She walked into the bedroom to grab her clothes. She started throwing what was in the closet in her laundry basket, not really caring how neat anything was, just wanting to get it out of there.

She walked over to her dresser and saw that all of the little knick-knacks had been pushed over, some broken. She choked on an angry sob, she hated Poe so much right now. It wasn’t hurt or fear it was pure anger and she turned and slammed into Ben’s wide chest.

“Hey, what’s-“ But he looked behind her and saw. The little glass rabbit that he had gotten for her at a flea market for her birthday with its ears broken off, the succulent plant she’d had since she moved here pot was crushed laying in a pool of soil. 

She heard him let out a sigh.

“Let’s get this cleaned up. Chewie brought up a few boxes, we’ll put this stuff in one and we’ll sort it out when we get home.”

She nodded stiffly, unable to look him in the eye. Feeling ashamed.

Ben turned and went out of the room coming back momentarily with a couple of boxes. He handed her one and he took the other and started to gently place the things from the top of the dresser inside. She took the one he gave her and started putting the things on the nightstand in hers. She folded closed the box flaps while Ben closed up his and they quickly moved out in the hall to hand them off to Chewie.

They worked on the dresser next. Rey looked around the bedroom but realized that everything else was Poe’s. She went into the bathroom and cleaned out her toiletries and the few towels she had in there. 

“What else is up here?” Ben asked.

“That’s it really. Just the storage locker downstairs. I need the key though.” She mumbled to him, she felt nervous, out of place and afraid of the potential for conflict.

Chewie must have heard them.

“We’re going to need the key for the storage locker downstairs.” Chewie growled out.

This seemed to get Poe’s attention.

“There isn’t anything down there for her.” Poe stated firmly, crossing his arms across his chest.

“That’s not true. My bed is down there and so is some of my furniture and few more of my boxes.”

Rey stated her frustration rising. 

It was Han who saw the keys in the dish on the counter and grabbed them.

“I suppose it’s one of these then.” He said dangling them in front of Poe’s face.

He turned and tossed them to Ben who caught them and handed them to Rey.

“Still got your old man’s reflexes I see.” Han chuckled and Ben just shrugged at him.

“Now wait just a minute.” Poe said rather indignantly.

“We’ll need Rey’s car keys, too.” Ben stated. She watched as Han’s eyebrows shot up and a smile crossed his face.

“Oh, yeah how could I forget?” Han turned to Poe then. “Hand ‘em over.”

Poe’s patience seemed to wane, and his façade cracked.

“What? I don’t have her damn keys. I don’t know what she’s told you, but you have a lot of nerve coming in here. You were like a father to me and I can’t believe you’re treating me like this. Ben disowned you, remember? I never left.” 

Han snorted out a laugh. 

“I remember, just fine. Funny since he never would have left if it wasn’t for you. I know that my wife thinks you’re some cute little puppy that she can fuss over but I’ve seen through your bullshit since the beginning. So, you can either get Rey her car keys or we can call the police and get them involved. I’m sure my wife would be so proud to see your name in the paper.”

“The sand rat can go swim in the duck pond and find them herself then.” Poe practically screeched, crossing his arms over his chest.

A dark storm seemed to fill the room then, Rey’s ears rung with rage and suddenly there was a weight around her waist and the room devolved into shouting. The next thing she noticed was Ben in Poe’s face and Han was holding him back.

It was then that a tall blond woman entered the apartment. The woman’s posture immediately had her on edge, and she leaned back into the warm wall behind her, realizing for the first time it was Chewy who was simultaneously holding her back, from the rage and up from the panic.

“What seems to be the problem here?” The blonde asked with authority. Rey knew that it must be Ben’s friend from the gym, Phasma. Rey heard rather than felt herself panting. This seemed to get Ben’s attention and he turned to her and stepped away from Poe. That’s when things went a bit fuzzy. 

Ben

When Phasma walked in there was a palpable change to the room. He heard Rey panicked breathing knew he needed to calm down. 

Phasma seemed to have control of the situation, they informed her about the car keys. Luckily, Han and Chewy knew someone that could get her a replacement set and Han immediately made the call to have the car towed to his shop. 

When he turned back to Rey, Chewy had his arm around her in such a way Ben wasn’t sure if she was really holding herself up at all. Luckily Phasma took the lead on having Poe walk them down to storage but only after his dad had reluctantly relinquished Poe’s keys. 

Ben kept himself back letting his dad take the lead with Poe and Phasma.

His eyes searched Rey, looking for what, he wasn’t sure. Chewy squeezed her shoulder and seemed to walk her to Ben before leaving the apartment to catch up with the others.

“Rey?” He had to repeat himself a few times to get her to look at him and her face crumpled.

“I’m sorry.” She murmured, he just pulled her into him, doing his best to give her a bit of comfort.

“No need to be. We’re almost done. I just need you to walk down to storage with us, so we know that we’re getting what’s yours.” He watched her catch her breath and swallow hard before nodding. 

By the time they made it down to the basement he could already hear the raised voices echoing in the stairwell.

“I hardly think this was an accident.” They walked into the storage and Phasma turned to them a look of pity in her eyes.

“There’s nothing that we can do, except write it up so you can potentially take it to civil court for damages.” Phasma stated calmly. Ben couldn’t see well into the cage so he didn’t quiet know what everyone was looking at.

“What? That’s bullshit.”

“Without witnesses or camera evidence there is really no proof, and it is very much a ‘he said she said’ situation. You can use the pictures for civil court though.” 

Chewie moved forward and fiddled with his phone taking video of what was the caged in storage area.

Ben didn’t know what was going on, but he felt his hackles rise.

He saw Rey waver and gripped her hand in his attempting to comfort her without giving Poe ammunition.

“What’s going on?” Ben asked, unsure if he wanted an answer.

“The stuff in storage is ruined.” Han bit out.

That’s when the smell hit him an unmistakable mix of piss and bleach. 

“The small furniture might be saved, but not the mattress, probably not the boxes and definitely not the bedding.” Han said in defeat, his eyes never leaving Poe as he spoke. Ben had seen that look of disappointment before and he was glad it wasn’t directed at him.

He could feel Rey shaking and tucked her under his arm then.

“Let’s just go.” Rey finally spoke up with the determination of someone who was about to throw up.

“You’re sure.” Ben asked, knowing full well that she was done with all of this. 

She nodded and Ben turned them around to head back to the car.

“So, you’re fucking after all then? Is that the cost for trash collection these days?”

Rey spun around then as if to defend herself, Ben quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her to him, unsure of what she would do, but doing his best to keep her out of trouble.

Then he heard a crack and a thud.

“Ow! I think you broke my nose!” Poe shouted, muffled.

He saw Phasma move as if to intervene but sensing the conflict was over, she let out a tired sigh.

“I’m going to have to charge you for that.” Phasma stated.

Han shrugged and the group made their way up the stairs, Phasma staying behind to check on Poe before meeting them outside.

“I’ll stop by your shop tomorrow, he’s the type that will press charges, but I’ll try to keep it to a citation for disorderly conduct and not assault, since it was provoked.”

Han chuckled. “I like you. You should have been a cop when I was younger.” He winked at her and Phasma rolled her eyes, giving Ben a nod before hopping into her car to leave. Ben walked Rey over to his car and shut the door after she was secured inside. He nodded to Chewie and they both got in their vehicles and drove to Ben’s.

He looked over to Rey who just stared ahead blankly.

“Hey, we’re going to go home now.” Rey barely gave a response so Ben put the car in gear and drove them home. He let Rey have her silence, allowed her to sort through her thoughts without his input. 

When they got back home, Han and Chewie seemed in good spirits and unloaded Rey’s boxes and dresser into the spare room, Rey and Ben unloaded his own vehicle.

**After his dad and Chewy left Ben ordered a pizza. Rey had disappeared into the bathroom and didn’t come out until Ben called for her. Her face was red from what he assumed was crying. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something about her affect was off. He watched her carefully as they ate. She didn’t eat much, but she didn’t pick at her food like she had at lunch. When she got up from the table, he noticed a burgundy line on the sleeve of her button up shirt. He reached out to touched it and she winced.

“Rey, what is that?” It wasn’t sauce from the pizza. She froze, her hand holding her plate shaking. “Rey, talk to me.”

“I was overwhelmed ok, please don’t hate me. Please don’t kick me out.” A note of wild desperation in her voice.

“Why would I do either of those things? I don’t get it.” She set her plate down with a thud and slumped back into the chair and gingerly rolled up her sleeve. 

When she placed her arm on the table, he could see the fine cuts on her arm. His first reaction was to ask who did that to her, but clicked that it was her. He didn’t know how to react, he just stared at her arm for a moment taking it in. She had never mentioned to him that this was something she had done, but then again why would she. He thought about the times that he had seen little silver scars on her arms and legs in the past, small and faint. He just assumed they were old childhood cuts that had been left neglected and didn’t heal properly. 

Again, he was left without words, so he got up and took her hand. He tugged her into the bathroom and gestured for her to sit down on the lid of the toilet. He dug in his cabinet to find the first aid kit and gently started to wash and bandage her arm. 

“Are you going to be safe?” He asked as he gently applied antibiotic ointment. He noticed that the cuts weren’t deep and if anyone saw them, they would probably assume they were from a cat scratch or gardening. 

She nodded.

“We have an EAP through work, maybe talk to HR tomorrow see if you can use it to get some counseling,” she flinched. “But when you’re ready.” He looked up to see her lip trembling. “I know I’m an idiot sometimes so I get it if you feel like you can’t talk to me but I’m here all the same. Really, I just want you to talk to anyone though. I know the last few months have been hard on you. But please tell me how I can help you.” Ben knew there was a pleading note to his voice, but he didn’t really care.

She covered her face in her hands and choked out a sob. All of the emotions from the last few hours coming out in a deluge. He sat on the edge of the tub, his hand resting on her shoulder while her body was wracked with sobs. He wanted to single handedly dismantle everything that had harmed her; the system that failed her, the parents that abandoned her, the people who abused her. He realized that he had an iron grip on the edge of the tub and released it, shaking out the tension.

A few moments later Rey got up on shaky legs, Ben following her to stand. 

She walked out of the bathroom and into the hall and began to pace. Ben leaned against the door frame to watch her. Unsure how to help or support her, so just gave her time to process. 

“I haven’t cut since I was 18 and I let that asshole get to me.” Venomous anger clear in her voice. “I let him take and ruin everything I had, and I hate him so much!”

***

Rey

Rey was pacing, feeling a bit frantic. She knew she had slipped and was ashamed of herself, but Ben seemed more concerned about her safety than anything. He bandaged her up, didn’t shame her or accuse her of attention seeking. He didn’t ask for an explanation, she just automatically gave him that, feeling like she owed it to him. Now he just watched her, his dark eyes following her like she was slow-moving pendulum. She doesn’t know what she’d do without him at this point and she wonders if it’s codependent, this relationship that she has with him now. 

She remembers what he told her before about making his life better and getting him to contact his family, but it seems so insignificant that it feels non-existent. Then she thinks about how far of a setback she is at now without furniture, bedding and basic kitchen supplies. It’ll take her months to get her finances in order and move out. She knows that Ben said he’s ok with her here, but she just can’t help but feel like a burden left on his doorstep, the weight of her responsibilities and the consequences of her existence shifting to his family. She considers Finn’s offer but knows she’d be unwilling to move without a job, so she puts that thought off to the side. She gets so lost in the motion and racing thoughts that she loses track of time. She just knows that her body aches and she’s exhausted when she finally stops. 

When she looks up, Ben is still standing there patient as ever, she hates him for it a little bit, he needs to find a better way to use his time, rather than wasting it on her. 

“I won’t be able to afford a different bed for a couple weeks.”

“No, worries. It’s worked so far.” He shrugs it off.

“It’ll push back when I can afford to move out.” She realizes she’s testing him.

“That’s ok, like I’ve said before stay as long as you need. I’m not out anything by you being here.” She hates that he’s always nice to her, always has a counter argument to things designed to push him away.

“Until I have keys, you’ll have to continue to take me to work.”

“That is less of a problem than you’re trying to make it seem. Besides it should only be a couple days.”

“Why won’t you hate me?” She wanted to come off angry and vengeful, scream at him but she had no more energy for it and was just achingly sad.

He stepped up to her then and wrapped her up in a hug.

“Because you’re not as bad on the outside as you feel on the inside.” She remembered telling him something similar once and she just felt exhausted. There was no more fight left and she slumped into him. To tired to cry she just felt numb.

“Let’s go get ready for bed, I think you’ve had enough of today.” She nodded and Rey went off to her room to grab her clothes. When she reappeared, she was wearing the same shirt from the previous night, she didn’t know why but it comforted her. Ben didn’t say anything, just let her crawl into bed. She laid as close to the edge as humanly possible denying herself the comfort and space the bed afforded her, she didn’t deserve it.

“Rey, I know you’re going through a lot but please don’t push me away.” She rolled to face him then and he reached for her tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He seemed determined to not let her hide away, she felt exposed and vulnerable in a way that she rarely allowed. She felt like it was payback for the times that she made him talk about the relationship he had with his parents. Logically she knew it wasn’t vengeful but emotionally it felt like it was. She allowed herself to close her eyes under his watchful gaze.

Ben

Rey was hurting and he hated it. He could feel her pushing him away and he refused to allow it to happen. She could have her space she could take anything she needed but he knew sabotage when he saw it. He stayed awake until she fell asleep, he finally felt like he could relax enough to relinquish his watch. 


	11. The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roller coaster continues, please keep your hands in the cart until it comes to a complete stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, don't write yourself off yet.  
> It's only in your head, you feel left out  
> Or looked down on.  
> Just try your best, try everything you can.  
> Don't you worry what they tell themselves  
> When you're away.
> 
> The middle- Jimmy Eat World

Ben woke up to an empty bed, 3 missed calls from his mother and 11 text notifications. He ignored them for the moment to go search for Rey. It was unlike her to be up earlier than him. He was actually surprised he had slept this late.

She wasn’t in either of the bathrooms, the living area, kitchen or guest room. He went out onto the roof and found her sitting with a throw around her and a cup of coffee in her hand. She must have heard him take a step toward her, her face blank and emotionless.

“Hey.” She said quietly.

“Morning. Did you want to go to Chicago today? Or did you want to wait for the weekend.”

“I’ve been up since 3, so I don’t think I have the energy to go today.” She looked defeated as she squinted through the bright morning sunlight across the city skyline.

“Not a problem. I didn’t mean to sleep so late.” Ben shook his head. He hadn’t really experienced Rey in an emotional space like this and was just doing his best to push forward, try to get her through to the other side. He knew he couldn’t do it for her, no matter how much he wanted to.

“I just wanted to check on you, I was surprised you weren’t still asleep when I got up.” She nodded but didn’t say anything. “I have about a dozen calls and messages from my mom, so I’m going to go deal with that.” She looked wide eyed and then seemed to catch herself.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Rey. But when I’m done do you want to get breakfast?”

“I don’t want to leave the apartment.” 

Ben chewed the inside of his cheek before responding.

“Ok, I’ll cook something and bring it out to you then.”

“Ben, it’s not a problem I’m not really hungry.”

“You should still eat though.”

He could feel her slipping away closing herself off. He let out a sigh realizing that he had lost this battle.

“Ok,” palms up in a placating motion. “I’ll leave you be for a bit.”

Ben went in and saw all of the calls and texts were from within the last hour or so. He opened his messages and was thankful that his mom learned early on that he didn’t listen to his voicemails.

Mom: Benny I talked to your father last night and I’m having a hard time with this.

Mom: I would really like to talk to you about this please call me.

Mom: I talked to Poe

Mom: He’s like a son to me too and I don’t know what to do with all of this information. 

Mom: Please call me back, I know you’re usually up by now.

Mom: Poe wants to talk to Rey to apologize.

Mom: He knows he was out of line.

Mom: Your father disagrees with me but I think it would be great for the 3 of you to sit down to chat. 

He didn’t get through the rest of the thread because he heard voices coming from down the hall.

He stormed out into the hallway to be met with a Rey fleeing in his direction and a Poe steady at her heels.

“Rey, I think we should talk about his.”

“No. There’s nothing to say!” She spun around at Poe then. Ben could see the anger and rage in how she held herself.

“I’m sorry.” Poe said, his hands clasped in front of him.

“No, you’re not. You’re sorry that people are starting to see through your little act. You were never interested in me you were just interested in using my relationship with you to hurt Ben. Then when you got what you wanted you were done. I’m done. You don’t deserve my forgiveness.” Rey turned around and walked toward Ben, so he gave her the space to walk through the door. He gave Poe a glare preparing to continue the argument, but instead Rey took his hand and pulled him through the door behind her. He was quick enough to shut the door and lock it.

Rey let out a scream loud enough that he knew the college kids downstairs might actually wake before noon. She fell to her knees in a sobbing mess but before he could respond to her his phone started ringing. 

He knew who it was without looking at the screen and decided to put this conversation to rest. 

“God Dammit.” He said as he fumbled with the phone. “What!?” He demanded in greeting.

“Ben, I have Poe on the other line, he’s very distraught.” 

“Yeah, well I really don’t give a shit. He wasn’t welcome here he’ll never be welcome here. I don’t know why you refuse to understand that. If you want him to be the son you never had that’s fine, I cannot find it in myself to care. But I really wish you’d listen to me for once in my life, or shit listen to dad, or Chewie. They were both there last night and know what he did. But Rey comes first, will always come first and you are just going to have to get over that.”

Ben hung up and tossed the phone onto the couch across the room where it gave a bounce before landing on the rug. He wouldn’t spend another minute of his time listening to his mother defend Poe. It wasn’t worth the energy. He ran his hands through his hair and took a breath trying to calm himself. He knelt down in front of Rey, letting the silence wash over them. He knew he probably revealed himself but it was true so there was no point in pretending it wasn’t.

“Your mom is a bit of a shit, isn’t she?” She said before letting out a choked sob. 

“Yup. I tried to tell you… C’mon let’s get you up off of this floor. I’ll make you some food. If you want just a chill day here, you can go take a swim in the tub, then movie or tv marathon of your choice. I’ll go get you a megaton of junk food while you’re in the bath.”

“Stop it Ben.” She sounded angry.

“Stop what?”

“Stop being nice. I hate myself right now and you being nice makes me feel worse.” Her face filled with anguish.

“I’m sorry. I hate that you’re hurting like this and it’s the only thing that I can think of to help.” He took in a breath collecting his thoughts.

“I feel like I brought him to your door. Let’s say you’re right, what if he did date you to hurt me? Then I brought this to you…” She moved as if to speak but he held his hand up to stop her. “I am well aware that Poe is responsible for himself but maybe he targeted you to hurt me and that makes me feel a responsibility, outside of our friendship, to make sure you’re ok.” His anger deflated and he was able to feel worried for a moment. Worried about how much farther this would go and how it would impact their friendship.

“We’re a mess, huh?” She huffed a laugh but there was no humor in it.

“A bit. I just don’t want you to think that you have to go through this alone. I’ve let down a whole lot of people in my life and I just don’t want that to include you.” He paused a beat before continuing. “You’re my found family Rey.” He watched her examine him then, he was unsure what she was looking for, but he hoped she found it.

They were quiet for a while when Rey’s stomach grumbled.

“Let’s get you something to eat.” Ben said as he pushed himself up off the.

“Cold pizza is fine.” She said firmly.

“Got it.” He went and grabbed last night’s box from the fridge and walked over to Rey offering her his hand to help her up. She took it.

Rey

They finished off the rest of the pizza and were now lounging on Ben’s couch. Rey laid across the sofa with her feet in his lap as they watched some series that Ben had picked. She drifted in and out of sleep, succumbing to the exhaustion related to too many emotions and not enough sleep.

She had drifted off again when she was startled awake by a knock on her door. 

“I got it.” Ben moved her feet off his lap and stalked to the door.

She watched him peek through the peephole before giving a heavy sigh, hands on his hips as if unsure if he wanted to open it. He looked at her a bit defeated.

“It’s my mother. I’m going to take this outside, so you’re not subjected to whatever this is.”

She found herself sitting up then frozen in some no man’s land between fight and flight. 

“Ben-“ She said as he put his hand on the doorknob.

“It’ll be fine, Rey.”

She wasn’t able to catch a glimpse of his mother as he slipped out the door.

She heard his mother’s voice then, not quite loud or distinct enough to catch what she was saying.

“I’m not inviting you in. We can talk here or outside those are your choices.” A pause and then footsteps going out to the rooftop.

She tiptoed to Ben’s room, whose windows butted up against the roof and sat listening in on what was being said.

“What is it?” Ben asked, she could hear his impatience in his tone.

“Why can’t we talk about this?”

“I’ve tried to talk about this. It just isn’t up for discussion or debate.”

“Poe is family, Ben. You don’t abandon family.” Rey felt a little guilty listening in but couldn’t help herself. Growing up in the system meant that you listened to what happened on the other side of closed doors so you were never caught by surprise.

She heard him let out a snort.

“That’s rich. You had no problem abandoning me.”

“I sent you to live with Luke, that’s not abandonment, you were with family.”

“Well, Rey is my family. Poe was abusive towards her doesn’t that count for something?”

“I’ve already told him to get help.”

“Mom. I’m not stopping you from you having a relationship with him, but I do need you to see how he hurts people. How he’s hurt me and people I care about.”

“And you’ll choose her over your family.”

“Like I said, Rey is my family and I’ve chosen being alone over what you refer to as my family in the past.” Ben didn’t even sound angry, just tired, resigned to the idea that his mom would continue to misunderstand him.

She felt a tear go down her cheek and realized that as much as he said he was choosing her, he as choosing himself too and it took the weight of guilt off her shoulders. It allowed her to take her finger off the trigger of her self-destruction. 

Because Ben viewed her as family and she finally felt like she understood what that meant. She considered Finn her family, which he was, but because he also grew up in the system they always felt like they only had each other. At least, until they built families of their own. There were no elders to impose or project expectations, traditions, or shame.

Finn and Rey weren’t family, like Ben’s family, they were two feral children lost in the woods, making up the rules as they went along. Ben had a family that had betrayed his trust and abandoned him for someone else. It was a bit overwhelming when she allowed herself to think about it. But she knew she couldn’t let her need to run away for self-preservation, ruin her friendship with someone that was willing to take a stand for her. She realized that Ben wasn’t losing his family over Rey because he never really had them to begin with.

She stood up then, ready to go fight for her family. She walked down the hall and out onto the roof. Ben’s mom’s back was to her, but Ben saw her and looked taken a back at her presence.

Leia turned in surprise when the door shut, a bit louder than Rey intended. It took a moment for the woman to register who she was.

“You must be Rey. I’m Leia, Ben’s mother.”

“I know who you are.”

“Rey, if you’d just-“

“Look, I know you don’t know me. And I’m unsure what Ben has told you about me, but I’m the last person that wants to break up a family.” She walked toward Ben then, needing to move in order to hide her nerves. Leia seemed to pause at that, a little bit of relief cresting over her features.

“I don’t have a family. Not a real one anyways. I was used to others making that choice for me and made the mistake of letting Poe choose for me, too. But if you’re his family how come I never once met you in the 5 or 6 months we were seeing each other?” Rey cocked her head, only half expecting a response, Leia’s mouth opening and closing as if searching for an answer.

“I’m not letting anyone else pick my family anymore. I’m doing that for myself from now on.” She took Ben’s hand in hers and she felt him squeeze her hand so tightly it would have been near painful if she could feel her extremities. It brought her some relief that she made the right choice. 

“So, until you will allow Ben to do what is best for him and quit trying to make him do what is best for you, I think it’s best you leave.” She let out a whoosh of air, she could feel her legs trembling and hoped nobody could see. 

Leia looked between them and then down at their joined hands and nodded, more to herself than either of them.

“Fine. I’ll consider this done then. I’ll think about what you’ve both said.” Leia turned to leave then, going down the back stairs. “Oh, and Benny, I do hope she’s worth it.” This hit Rey square in the chest, and she could feel her lip tremble at the implication and how it matched her own thoughts.

“She is.” He said it so it was just quiet enough for Rey to hear, not giving his mom the satisfaction of an answer. She looked up at Ben then who was looking at her with what appeared to be reverence. 

“C’mon.” She said, a bit uncomfortable with the moment. “I hear there’s a bubble bath and I believe a megaton of junk food in my future.” He grinned, the big beaming idiot grin that she didn’t see often, and he barked out a laugh.

“Deal.” 


End file.
